Only Lonely

Hi Friends,

Long time ! Pardon my absence but I am sure my Mumbai friends will understand this. Life is so fast here that you don`t get time for yourself, no leisures, nothing. Day starts early at 06:30 A.M, off to Station by 08:00 A.M, to reach office by 09:30 A.M , back to Mumbai CST by 07:00 P.M , from Station to home around 09:00 P.M ! By the time you actually realise it , the day has slipped away . This has been my routine for 2 odd years now . So when I am fortunate enough to get a seat in Mumbai locals I make the most of the opportunity by dancing my fingers on my Blackberry .

Nidhi & Manya are away at Patiala for a family function and I will join them later on 6th April , back to Mumbai on 16th April  . I have to confess that when we were planning this tour I was actually excited to get the much awaited "freedom " but honestly I am not enjoying it. Not if I want to. Life has become a lemon and I am missing them like crazy . It is never easy to lead the life of a bachelor again after marriage.  Now I realise the importance of Nidhi, the importance of her love and care, of small things that don`t really matter but are of greater significance . I will treasure it now and forever . All the bachelors reading this : Please make the most of your bachelorhood now,  it pains to be single again .

The house is almost dead without Manya`s presence . Her toys are all lamenting with me wishing she was here with us . At the airport she bid bye to me as if this was also just another game unaware of how far she is going . And I stood there helpless trying to fight the tears that wouldn`t stop . Sometimes I wonder how innocent this little angel of mine is . I am noting below some translations of her cute remarks :

Mama : I also want four legs like an elephant .  
Papa : Why do you go to office ?
Mama : Pl ask sun to come later. I want to sleep more .
( To housemaid in anger ) Anju go to office !!! Papa: You stay at home today .
Mama: Moon is my best friend . It always walks with me everywhere I go .
To her Grandpa : Daadu, Why have you coloured your hair white ? I dont like it , make it black like Papa .
To Car while kissing it : Thank you my car, you take me to so many places .
Mama : I want to fly like Nobita ( A Doraemon`s cartoon character ), get me those wings please .
( Covering her face with hand towel ) Can anyone find me where I am ?????

I cannot find you in the house Manya !!

Dear Manya, Gradually you will grow up and lose your innocence that costs so much . You will teach us right from wrong , of the gadgets we dont know how to run or handle, of the latest technologies, of behaviour before your friends and in society, of dressing up, of life . But know it Manya that you were also this innocent like we will be in our old age . I hope you will understand this when you read this insignificant little blog of mine when you grow up .

Lets change the mood and for a change allow me to present before you my poetry this time . I had written this when I was with HDFC Bank :


Ye na thi meri kismat, ke HDFC Bank mein karaar hota,
Agar Sarkari naukri paata to yahan se kabhi ka faraar hota,

Koi mere dil se poochhe , mere boss ki sangdili ko,
Mere koi na Boss hota, agar lecturer hota,

Apni Kismat ko kosta hoon, office mein baitha sochta hoon,
Kaash aaj Shaniwaar hota, aur kal Ravivaar hota ,

Kahun kisse main ke kya hai, ye audit buri bala hai ,
Main khoob lutaata auditors par, agar audit ek baar hota ,

Ye office ki uljhanein aur ye tera bayaan Munish,
Jo na hota HDFC Bank mein to berozgaar hota .


Allama Iqbal once wrote :

 " Dil se jo aah nikalti hai asar rakhti hai,
 parr nahi taaqat-e-parwaaz magar rakhti hai ".

( The word springing from the heart surely carries weight,
Though not endowed with wings, it yet can fly in space.)

So, my " Aah " as stated above was finally listened and answered. I am enjoying my Sarkari Naukri with great delight .

I am still,

Yours Truly,

Munish .

My sincere thanks to my IDBI Nariman Point Colleagues Mr. Bhushan Mane,Mr Kumarjit Kar , Mr Nilesh Sutaone, Mr. Sanjiv Srivastava, Ms. Gunjali Sahai and Ms. Sharva Kerkar for obvious reasons .

Blame Game !

From World Cup to office responsibilities to domestic works , it has been a hectic week . So there was little time to think and to pen down the thoughts . The World Cup has now become interesting and India has finally returned to its form ! The form of making easy matches look difficult, creating a thriller of a one-sided match,struggling to achieve victory,  and in this process causing panic among the team , forcing them to take chances and finally losing the games ( or sometimes winning them fortunately  ! ) . After the last match between Indian & South Africa, a lot of criticism has gone to captain M.S.Dhoni, more than he can digest . He has been blamed for poor batting, taking the singles instead of smashing boundaries, giving more strike to tailenders than himself and finally giving the last over to Ashish Nehra instead of Harbhajan Singh . Easier said than done ! The critics almost forgot his good decisions after winning the toss, dedicated wicket-keeping,  a splendid stump out and a run out ! Playing before 55,000 audience under so much pressure is never an easy task. As I have mentioned in one of my earlier posts , there will always be regrets in every field be it exams, interviews, meetings and the like but we can only do the best we can do in that situation . There is another interesting angle to this. Don`t forget our forgetful nature ! One good match , one good performance and Dhoni will be the hero again .  Such is the irony of Cricket. And I love this game .

 My sense of ethics constantly scold me for ignoring the value of a care that is due to those who brought me into this world . If I were to note my regrets, they would most certainly be the loss of opportunity in spending more time with my father and mother . After finishing my 12th Std. , I chose to pursue my graduation from Delhi.( But I must convey my sincere thanks to my then mentor Mr. Anupam Thapa who counselled me to move to Delhi )  And there has been no turning back ever since . My next destination was Pune for MBA, later to Hyderabad for the first job, then to Jaipur , a short stint at Shimla-Solan and then to Mumbai . Well almost !   During these years I have , lesser intentionally and more unintentionally, missed so many birthdays, anniversaries , the joys, the sicknesses , the festivals and much more . My parents celebrated their 35th marriage anniversary on 9th March`2011 and I could only wish them over phone as always much to my regret and theirs . An interesting illustration :  My father had to move out of Nahan ( his native place ) to Shimla for work. But his brothers ( my Chacha`s ) continued to work at Nahan and stayed with my grandparents and so my grandparents gradually developed a feeling of neglect for my father and his family . A soft corner for my Uncles and their kids and a cold heart for Papa and us . Years later history repeats itself and I find myself in the same position now. Manya has never experienced the love and company of grandparents . Nidhi and myself also miss their presence in our day to day life .  The question now arises Who is to be blamed for this ? The parents for being biased to the children who are with them and against those who are away. Or the children who preferred to settle with their jobs giving no heed to the care of the parents ???? For my particular case: I am ready to take the blame on me. May be I could take better decisions on my career and still make it without staying away . But then thats life, dear friends ! While I am sure that Amit, my brother will take good care of my parents when they need it the most , I hope and pray that my parents do join me after they retire from their respective services so that I can contribute my bit as well . Dear Papa, Mummy : May you be able to forgive me for my mistakes and give me, Nidhi and Manya the love that , we think,  we deserve .  Amen !


As usual, A piece of poetry from a Bon Jovi song  :

Well I'm so far away the step that I take is on my way home
A king's ransom in dimes I'd give each night
To see through this pay phone
Still I run out of time or it's hard to get through
Till the bird on the wire flies me back to you
I'll just close my eyes and whisper baby blind love is true.

Tonight I won't be alone
But you know that don't mean I'm not lonely
I've got nothing to prove for it's you that I'd die to defend


I wanna lay you down in a bed of roses
For tonight I'll sleep on a bed of nails
I wanna be just as close as your Holy Ghost is
And lay you down on a bed of roses .


Wishing you lots of luck to handle the blames , I remain,

Yours Truly,

Munish .

" And When your fears subside, but shadows still remain,
I know that you can love me, when there is no one left to Blame . " - Guns n Roses

Response to Responses

When there is honesty in revealing , it is disturbing to be struck down for being truthful . If my honest description of Mr. Anna Hazare going on fast is not to be understood, rather criticised then I may request you Dear Man to check the website in his name and once you do so please revert back to me with your expert comments . I have not cooked the story to complete the blog just for the heck of it . I have been asked by most of you to unblock the comments part on the blog. Now you know the reason behind this. Some unknown elements spoil the blog by their immature and hurting comments . Let it be .

Words of appreciation from my old school friend Ms. Richa Khattar over mail . It was so good to catch up with her after ages . She gave updates about Ms. Pratibha and Ms. Monika . Gosh ! I dont remember who they are . May be this is due to Long term memory loss . And I thought to myself : Am I becoming forgetful ? Is it a symptom of ageing ? But then I thought everyone is ageing every passing day and I believe forgetfulness is a blessing in disguise . If we were not forgetful we would probably cry ourselves to death over the same pain and sufferring we had experienced in the past over and over again . Thank the lord for this quality . A piece of advice from a friend that I should not reveal my personal matters on the blog . She says many people may not be interested to know how much I love Nidhi . Is it so ? Okay, I will refrain . Appreciation mail from Gaurav Behl, my good friend in Vamnicom  . Gaurav, based at Gurgaon,  is presently working for a reputed Ad agency . Most of us have been forced into the jobs which we may not like and we may not have the relevant skills for them but Gaurav for sure is a lucky guy ! He was always so creative , played so well with the words. He used to tamper the songs in a very funny manner . I am glad for him that he got to use his talent in the right manner and also getting paid for it ! And he was great at Mimicry as well . He used to imitate almost all of us MBA guys including me. It feels so good to receive admiration from such a creative genius . He shared some of his creative works with me . One of his Ads for Canon with Sachin Tendulkar is appended below.

In Gulzar`s words...

Ek purana mausam lauta, yaad bhari purvaayi bhi,

Aisa toh kam hee hota hai woh bhi hon tanhayi bhi,

Yaadon ki bauchharon se jab palkein bheegne lagti hai,

Kitni saundhi lagti hai tab maazi(past ) ki ruswayi bhi .

We got this family sketch done on Manya`s Birthday with Papa . Also appending the same.

I will return with my regular post very shortly. This one was required . Please excuse .

Yours Truly,

Munish.

Mails & Females

Hi Friends,

Pleased to note that response to my first post has been amazing . Messages, mails are still pouring in !!! Thank you all for your kind words . Most of you are surprised to see this development , Some of you have asked to upload Manya`s snaps,  some of you have asked me how to start your own blog . Okay, you may check blogspot, blogger, posterous etc or you may " Google " and select your blog site as per your requirements as each one has its own features . Will look forward to your blogs .  Some of you have asked me about my next post. Well here it is...

We often share some fun mails while working . Such mails are always refreshing and take us away from office tensions for a while. I make it a point to forward each such mail that I receive . Pl register you e-mail id with me immediately in case you are not getting my mails :-) Today I got this mail on some Anna Hazare going on fast unto death from April 05 onwards . Apparently, Anna Hazare has given an ultimatum to Prime Minister Dr Manmohan Singh to enact stringent anti-corruption law – the peoples` “Jan Lokpal Bill” ! There`s more to this- Across India, Swami Ramdev, Sri Sri Ravishankar, Swami Agnivesh, Arch Bishop Vincent Concessao, Mahmood A Madani, Kiran Bedi, J M Lyngdoh, Shanti Bhushan, Prashant Bhushan, Arvind Kejriwal, Mufti Shamoom Qasmi, Mallika Sarabhai, Arun Bhatia, Sunita Godara, All India Bank Employees Federation, PAN IIT Alumni Association, Common Cause and many other prominent organizations and leaders will support Anna at Jantar Mantar, New Delhi ! I am not sure how far this is true but in case it is , I have a serious objection . Do you buy this ? On a personal front, I dont approve of such actions . You cannot force your demands onto the Govt. by going on fast unto death ! Talking on fasts, let me confess that although I am a Brahmin by birth I have not gone on a fast even once in my life . I have respects for all the Gods that we worship but no fasts for me please . I have observed that people tend to eat more during fasting . In lieu of the fast, people have a lot of fruits and sweet dishes that they do not remain hungry at all. Where is the sacrifice ?  I feel we can never connect to God directly either by offering prayers or by fasting. We have not attained that spirituality , it takes a lot of effort, devotion and sacrifice . We need some one who has done Siddhi, someone who is close to God, dearer to him, a Sage, A Guru . Do you have one ?

Yesterday my colleague Ms. Divya N.  has resigned from the services of IDBI Bank . She was posted at CMS, Andheri for about 2 years, later got transferred to Bangalore after marriage and now she bid adieu inorder to take care of her home and family . These women are so flexible and so versatile !  They can adjust to every role so effortlessly and to their perfection . Nidhi sacrificed her work career when I got posting in Solan without much regret although her job was respectable and salary package was fairly decent . I shall always carry this guilt in my mind that she had to stop working just because of me but my respect for her has grown even more through these years . Nidhi, Have I told you lately that I Love You ! I personally know some women who have opted out of their careers for the sake of their family. Haripriya Madam in Axis Bank resigned from her lucrative job from Manager`s position and settled abroad with her hubby . Ms. Anupama Srivastava stepped down from the position of Cluster Head  and got request transfer to Solan as Back up Branch Manager and now Ms. Divya has resigned when her promotion was due . I distinclty remember , most of the toppers at my school and college have been girls, Vandana Bhatt, Tanu Kashyap, Neetu Sood to name a few. Each one of them was so tough competition for us guys ! Dear Manpreet Ahuja , Pankaj Mahajan, Arsh, Gaurav and all  Vamnicom people reading this hope you will agree not to disagree with me this time ! Its a strange irony that girls put in so much effort in studies and work and later they give up everything to take care of household chores . They leave their homes ( so journ ) and quickly adapt to their new homes, their new Papas and Mummies.  Such is the plight of women ! Sad But True .( Ohh I remember this song by Metallica ) I salute all these ladies above and all others I may have missed to mention who give priority to their families than their jobs . We can do nothing about this even if we want to . Our society is like this only.  It will take many Anna Hazare`s to change the norms of the society, so to say .

Abstracts from a beautiful song by  Bon Jovi :

I`ve been walking the footsteps of society`s lies,
I don`t like what I see anymore,
Sometimes I wish I was blind,
Sometimes I wait forever,
To stand out in the rain,
So no one sees me crying,
Trying to wash away the pain

Keep The Faith .

Yours Truly,

Munish.

Continued...

We humans have this tendency of causing disappointments to ourselves by setting great expectations and always falling short of them . So,  everything was going as per plan . A little goof up to trace Papa at the terminal but thats okay. Finally found him, back to home, quick breakfast and off to Manya's school with the cake. She was looking like a fairy ! Then long talks with Papa on who's who of family and relatives . Then Nidhi and myself decided not to arrange the party . Reason : Kids upto 5 Years don’t come alone, they come with their Mummies. It happened last year too  ! Kids are relatively easier to handle but we have to attend mummies too and this party is supposed to be  a kids affair but they don’t understand this hence .Second, We thought we will be able to spare some time for Papa as he was here for one day only . So the party was dropped .

The rest of the day went on well, we took Manya to Korum Mall, the most Happ Mall in the city. She was sooooo enjoying hereself, loads of rides and games. Finally we came back home exhausted, exhausted  ?  May be I understated, we came back home almost dead . Manya was already fast asleep on my shoulders, laid her down on the bed gently and kissed her Good Night.  Papa then spoke on length about his glorious tenure at his Bank ( he will be retiring on 31^st Dec`11 ) and that after retirement he will be able to spend more time with us which hitherto was not possible due to job constrainsts . We expressed our happiness and requested him to spend half the year with us and the other half at Shimla with Bro Amit .

Finally, we were at bed retrospecting about the Birth day. Nidhi felt that we could have done it better to which I agreed   . When we look back we always think that things could have been better but that`s life. You cannot  turn back time.  Had it been possible I would have definitely opted for a better B-School for MBA .( Aside VAMNICOMNIANS  : Without offence, I am sure you will agree to this. Most of us have struggled real hard to get where we are today . I don`t know howz the placement scenario now in our college ) . But All`s well that ends well.   Alll Izzzz Wellll :-0.  A happy note to end this post .

Before closing I must thank Deepali for the inspiration to start the blog .  Her way of narrating things is awesome .

Wishing you happiness Dear friends, I remain ,

Yours truly,

Munish.

To Begin with...

What a day to start my blog ! today is 1st March , the day my cuttte , my deloved daughter Manya came to my life 3 years ago . And with her came so much happiness , smiles , luck and laughter and change in me and my life .  Life has its own ways of surprising you when you feel all is said and done and there`s nothing more in life to explore . Suddenly I assumed a new role ..of a father .  Perhaps I will never be able to express how I felt when I holded Manya in my hands for the first time and I will not attempt it .But I can certainly and most definitely admit that she is the most beautiful and the most innocent girl I have ever known . And so  I felt a new sense of responsibility and maturity in my thoughts and actions . They say girls bring their own luck and so it happened .  I was so frustrated with my then job that I  desperately needed a change, at any cost . IDBI Bank , my present employer notified vacancies in March`08 and ...here I am . Thanks Manya. I see the lines of my fate in your hands .  There is one more angle to my appointment in IDBI . I will dwell more on this in a separate post later .

Since this is my introductory blog , you must know about the Love of my life, my dearest wife Nidhi . Nidhi is the first best thing to happen to me .  My life has never been the same ever since I met her . Co-incidences have been a part of my life , the strangest of them being that Nidhi and yours truly share the same birth month, same birth day and year too ! Yesssssss...Its 3rd Aug`19** . Stars b`coz girl`s ages are not to be revealed and I must adhere to the rulebook ! People say we are made for each other, they must be saying this for every other couple they meet in order to please them but I have many reasons to believe. She cares for me like a mother, she is my best friend on this planet , she has always been by my side through all the ups and downs and kept her faith in me and my credentials and and and she also fights with me like a fierce lioness ( p.s Nidhi if you are reading this..I was joking ! ). I was a very small officer until I met her in 2006 , joined HDFC Bank as AM, later elevated to DM and in two years I became a Manager. So guys keep the ladies in your home happy and fortune will follow..:-). There so much more I have to say about her, may be later .

Today will be a hectic day for me obviously. First a drive through Mumbai traffic and receive Papa who is coming all the way from Shimla , a quick breakfast with him and then to drop Manya to school with B`day cake , preparations for evening party, then the party and its after affects . Lets see how it goes .

Nidhi is shouting with door keys in her hand . I must upload imm. and rush .

For some personal reasons I have blocked comments on the blog .You may pls share your views with me on my e-mail : munish.bhardwaj@idbi.co.in and munish.bhardwaj@mobileemail.vodafone.in or on Facebook .

Bbyeeeeee Dearies... Take Care

I am,

Yours Truly,

Munish .